BATMAN SCRUTINISED

The dark knight rises fails to impress. The simple reason being,i found more things to dislike than like.

I know you have already started groaning and judging but i have my reasons.

the dark knight was huge, this had to be bigger,i felt it wasn't.

Firstly, there was no compulsive need for batman to take the blame on himself. He and gordon could have blamed the joker for it. But no, probably bat was too tired of running around in crotch warming pants and too shy to admit it to gordon. So he enforced a leave upon himself. Cool enough.

He never got more than bruises while actually fighting. But ended up with a crutch while being locked up in a house? I mean what did he slip of his chair while pleasuring himself?

Let me get into the characters now..

BANE:

Bane is one of the most psychotic and brutal enemies of batman. Though the mask was nicely done, overall tom hardy didn't quite accentuate bane's persona. The way heath ledger seamlessly 'became' the joker, bane looked a lot more artificial. His voice had a nice creepy feel to it, completely ruined by his style of twisting words while talking. Few scenes were breath taking. I liked his unmasking in the beginning, the entire aeroplane act was pretty overwhelming. Though i believe he could have taken care of business at ground level and saved a lot of time :|

Another captivating scene was the way he was crouching on the ground and later on handles his henchmen when they capture Jim gordon.

Bane lacked the super villain feel. Inside the bank he unnecessarily banged the guy's head on the desk. That's what thugs do, not super villains.

Anyway the good thing about him is that he doesn't poop. Because he doesn't eat :|

BATMAN: His voice sounds more like a dog with a bone stuck in its throat, so much for a coarse baritone. Actor Amitabh Bachan has a more dominating voice in television commercials.

His entry scene is totally awesome. With the lights in the underground parking lot going off one by one and him literally sweeping one thug off his bike in a rapid motion. His total disregard for public property is hilarious. on one side he is funding more than half of the welfare organisations throughout gotham, on the other hand he is unnecessarily ramming his fat bike into things he knows he can break without making a fool of himself.

~Bat computer: At the next intersection turn right.

Batman: bleeh, i'll just blast through it.

Computer: why did you even bother installing me? 

Batman: bitch please.~

And i don't know if anyone noticed or not, but he fights weird! Very stiff movements,someone needs to oil his joints.

The horizontally flipping wheels are good to look at but technically impossible. Plus his bike seems to have no possible fuel storage system. Does it run on his farts? Fox likes to pamper the bat,true. But a flying ladybird is a little over the top, even for the dark knight. Not to mention its SWAG bizarre design. Anyway, Nolan had to bring it in since it was the only thing capable enough to catapult the bomb outside city limits.

CATWOMAN: The only thing i hold against her is her perfect spotless costume. The cat woman is supposed to wear skin tight spandex shredded at provocative places. But she seems to shop from Armani!

Her subtlety, swift movements accompanied with lightning fast precision blows made her the perfect thief.

Her soundtrack was bone chilling, better than either batman or bane i believe.

The plot:

I am not commenting on the storyline.

Just trying to highlight things i found stupid.

that old man fixing Bruce's protruding vertebrae by just punching it can be compared to cartoons fixing their broken necks by snapping them back in place.

bruce wayne without even having an underwear after escaping the jail, conveniently appears thousands of miles away somehow without a passport and a single cent in his pocket into a city with complete lockdown to catch cat woman under a bridge :| yeah..you're batman bruce..not superman.

kate's true identity in the end was a big shock to batman,but a bigger shin kick to bane's image. The great super villain was made to look like a pawn. a well fed beefed up dog. 

Bane wanted to fry the city anyway..so DO IT! WHY WAIT 5 MONTHS AND WAIT FOR THE BAT TO REAPPEAR AND THEN PRESENT YOUR BANE-Y ASS ON A PLATTER. Get a physicist, destabilise the nuclei and get it over with already!

Anyway, the last minute revelations combined with Zimmer's music was probably the best part of the movie. Although had i been Alfred i'd have given a hard kick in the nuts to Bruce right in that cafe for making him believe for sometime Bruce was actually dead.

~Robin